123 Pikme St.
Penticton, B.C.
V2A 1A1
February 2, 2012
Captain Draude
Commander
HMS Princess Margaret
O Captain, My Captain:
During these past few hours at the bottom of the ocean the reality of our situation has begun to sink in. I know you have an overwhelming decision ahead of you, and I hope that I can make it easier. I've been making some observations about our class, and it has occurred to me that more than half of our class is male. Usually, having a male dominated class wouldn't be of any importance but in our current situation you may find it could persuade you to spare my life. In my free time prior to our field trip I began researching the basal metabolic rate, BMR, in both males and females. The smallest amount of energy the body uses to stay alive is referred to as the BMR. It is a fact that females have a lower BMR than males, and since I am a female I use less oxygen than the boys. The logical choice in this situation would of course be to rid the submarine of oxygen devouring boys first. As well, I would spend my time sleeping to try and consume as little oxygen as possible rather than pacing like some of my classmates. With only girls left alive your decision may seem more wearisome, but I know you'll make the right choice. Teachers always say they don't have favourite students, but deep down all students know you truly do. Since you are of course my favourite teacher, I have no doubt that I am your favourite student. As a result, how would it look if you killed your favourite student who admires you as much as I do? I'm sure no school would want to hire a teacher who kills her favourites, and I wouldn't want you to have a future such as that. At this point, I am sure that I have left you with no reason to kill a delightful student such as I, who uses practically minuscule amounts of the remaining oxygen in the submarine. I wish you the best of luck as you announce to the others the perturbing news.
Sincerely,
Dana Klamut
HMS Princess Margaret
O Captain, My Captain:
During these past few hours at the bottom of the ocean the reality of our situation has begun to sink in. I know you have an overwhelming decision ahead of you, and I hope that I can make it easier. I've been making some observations about our class, and it has occurred to me that more than half of our class is male. Usually, having a male dominated class wouldn't be of any importance but in our current situation you may find it could persuade you to spare my life. In my free time prior to our field trip I began researching the basal metabolic rate, BMR, in both males and females. The smallest amount of energy the body uses to stay alive is referred to as the BMR. It is a fact that females have a lower BMR than males, and since I am a female I use less oxygen than the boys. The logical choice in this situation would of course be to rid the submarine of oxygen devouring boys first. As well, I would spend my time sleeping to try and consume as little oxygen as possible rather than pacing like some of my classmates. With only girls left alive your decision may seem more wearisome, but I know you'll make the right choice. Teachers always say they don't have favourite students, but deep down all students know you truly do. Since you are of course my favourite teacher, I have no doubt that I am your favourite student. As a result, how would it look if you killed your favourite student who admires you as much as I do? I'm sure no school would want to hire a teacher who kills her favourites, and I wouldn't want you to have a future such as that. At this point, I am sure that I have left you with no reason to kill a delightful student such as I, who uses practically minuscule amounts of the remaining oxygen in the submarine. I wish you the best of luck as you announce to the others the perturbing news.
Sincerely,
Dana Klamut
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