I once travelled from the North Pole to the South Pole in one day, on water skis. I once travelled to the harbour of Rio de Janeiro to get a tan. I once travelled to the peak of Mt. Everest to see the view. I once slept for 14 hours.
On Mondays, I communicate with dolphins in the depths of the Mediterranean Sea. On Tuesdays, I put out forest fires single handed. On Wednesdays, I wear pink. I am fluent in English, Spanish, Dutch, French, and Braille. Gabby Douglas is jealous of my agility. Kim Kardashian is jealous of my hair. Coco Chanel is jealous of my style. I wish I was left handed.
I spend my days rescuing dogs in Russia, saving seals in the Siberian Sea, and petting parrots in Panama. I eat Kraft Dinner for lunch. I have read every encyclopedia. I have swum with Michael Phelps. I have scaled the Empire State building. I have been on every ride at Disneyland. Twice. Last year, I swam in the Grand Canyon. Last year, I drove from Salt Lake City to Hong Kong. Last year, I sang the national anthem after the Canucks won the Stanley Cup final. Last night, I ate a tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream.
I am on a mission to save the world. In my free time, I replant the Amazon rainforest. In my free time, I clean up an entire oil spill using my toothbrush. In my free time, I replenish the world's water supply. In my free time, I fix the holes in the ozone layer. My house uses solar power. My cell phone bill is paperless. My laundry is washed in cold water. I recycle.
I am nocturnal, ambidextrous and amphibious. The Spartans shudder at the mention of my name. I have a summer house in Vatican City where the Pope attends my birthday parties. He always wins the raffle. I swam with dolphins, drank pina coladas and learned to surf, but not in Hawaii; in my backyard. I eat two bite brownies in one bite.
I am considered the 8th Wonder of the World.
I am the dancing queen. I am not a college graduate.
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